Our Next House

Adam has apparently been experiencing some dissatisfaction with some of the major constants in his life. First, it was the car. Lately, Adam has been obsessed with houses.

For a while he was fascinated with "those short houses" (ranch-style homes). Who lives in them? Can they stand up inside? Do they have bedrooms? Do they have food? Do they have toys? I don't know where Adam came up with these thoughts, but he was quite concerned. Our friend Tiffany graciously offered Adam a tour of her spacious, high-ceilinged, one-story home so that Adam could satisfy himself that they were not living in some kind of vinyl-sided beaver dam. (Thanks, Tiffany!)

Adam's recent conversation has centered around "our next house." I had no idea our current house was so unacceptable. But next time we go house shopping, Adam has some ideas about what we will need to look for.

• It will have a front porch. (OK by me.)
• The front porch will be double-storied. (That gets a little tougher...really, Adam, you think I'm going to let you anywhere NEAR a second-story porch? I would never sleep another wink.)
• It will have Christmas and Halloween lights up all year round. (No comment.)
• There will be a movie theater. (Poppa Jon...???)
• The house will have candles. (Yeah, right. File this one with the second-story porch. Another of those "Adam + ________ = certain disaster" things.)
• And there will be a new dog. (Well, maybe a little black lab puppy...)