Thursday, April 29, 2010

Checkmark...Checkmate!

The number one thing that has kept me up at night for the past four or so years? Figuring out how to stay one step ahead of Adam. To be sure, Andrew and Libby have given me and Steve their fair share of fits, but on the whole they've been pretty tame customers. Adam, on the other hand, has been on a mission since the beginning to test and sharpen every parenting skill we possess (and lots we don't). Prison Crib breaks, the (pre-potty-training) nudist phase, the Great Shoe Protest of '07, just to name a few... How many nights have I lain awake searching my mind for the answer to the challenge du jour? Too many to count. But, ah...the joy found in those (divinely inspired, I know) "eureka!" moments. Duct tape! Clothing buttoned up backwards! Double knots on everything! A few days of elation and respite, and then on to more late nights of mental chess moves as we take on Adam's latest challenge.

Lately, as Adam has gotten older, the issues have become less about the physical actions themselves and more about the attitudes/heart conditions behind the actions. The Christmas/birthday season this year really threw poor Adam for a loop. Without going into detail, Steve and I have been praying and searching and scratching our heads for months trying to figure out something that would click.

About a month ago I went into a teacher supply store. Ugh. Those places give me the willies. All that...bright...crafty...visually assaulting...overwhelming...stuff. It's the same feeling I get when I think about scrapbooking. *shudder* But I was with friends who wanted to pop in, so I went along to be social. And I found one of those pre-printed chore charts. On a whim, I picked one up. We'd tried them before with Andrew, who did not give two hoots about them. I don't know why I never thought to try a chore chart with Adam, especially in light of the Adam/Andrew Axiom: Andrew and Adam are opposites in EVERYTHING. What one likes, the other doesn't. What works for one, doesn't for the other. One's strengths are the other's weaknesses. For some reason, though, I forget and re-learn this axiom over and over again. I blame it on Mommy Brain.

Well. Guess who is a FOOL for checkmarks?


Oh, yeah. I have never seen Adam so motivated and cheerful and eager...for checkmarks. Checkmarks. At the end of each week, if he has kept up with his checkmarks, he gets a treat (TBD by Mom and Dad). Last week Adam and I went to Dunkin Donuts for a donut of his choice. At that point Andrew decided this was a bandwagon he'd like to hop on and kept some checkmarks of his own. So last night, after another great week of willing, helpful attitudes and actions and lots of checkmarks, the boys and I headed to Sonic to collect on the week's end treat. (For some reason the boys are fascinated by Sonic every time we drive by it.)

Checkmate. I'm by no means a master, but I'm kind of enjoying the game.


** Author's Footnote: I should state for the record and for the sake of complete honesty that Adam has just spent the majority of the time of the composition of this post screaming, acting ugly, and being sent to his room. I guess nothing's foolproof...

1 comment:

  1. Oooh... I love charts! (guess I'm in the Adam camp) And I love motivated good behavior! Glad you've found a system that works... and the rewards sound fun for all. :)

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