Thursday, March 7, 2013

Needed: Theologian for Hire

Job Description:  Person with MDiv degree or higher needed to ride shotgun in my minivan for trips to and from preschool.  This person must be, above all, extremely patient.  Must be able to answer *multiple* earnest theological questions of a four-year-old girl (sample questions to follow) as well as the more secular questions that arise from numerous rabbit trails.  Must be OK with delight in listening to off-key singing to the same kids' worship CD over and over...and over and over...

Sample Questions:

Mom, what does "holy" mean?

Mom, if Jesus took our sin away on the cross but he is holy and doesn't have any sin in him, where did the sin go?

Mom, is Jesus bigger than the trees?  Bigger than a building?  Bigger than the whole world?

Mom, does God fill up the whole world?  Even to the edges?

Mom, will the mommies and daddies be in heaven with their kids?

Mom, is God or Jesus the one with the brown beard?

Compensation:  Pay is in Capri Sun and McDonald's French fries (Chick Fil A waffle fries negotiable).

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