One day you will be the kind of mom who does not even notice that Child #2 gets into the car without wearing any shoes...
Until you get to the gym parking lot and he announces, "Hey! I don't have any shoes on!"
And because you are now that kind of mom, you will take him into the gym (which has the rule "You must be wearing a shirt and shoes to enter this facility" clearly posted on the door) anyway because swim lessons are starting in 3 minutes.
You will realize that in your younger days you sadly underestimated the wonder and glory of swim lessons that last for two whole weeks in the middle of a long, boring summer.
After walking shamelessly (OK, totally embarrassed but there's no help for it) through the halls of the gym with your barefoot progeny, you will take Child #2 (still shoeless), his brother, and his little sister (now clad in rubber crocs and a too-small smocked dress found stuffed in the bottom of the diaper bag after wetting her pants at the gym daycare) into McAllisters for free iced tea. Nothing should get in the way of National Iced Tea Day. And it's right on the way home from the gym.
At least little sister's hairbow still coordinates with too-small dress. Certain priorities will NEVER change.
You will not even think about your own awesome getup (sweaty gym shirt, track pants, no makeup, ponytail) until you are accosted by two beautifully dressed and made-up Mary Kay consultants running a promotional giveaway at the McAllister's entrance.
They will descend upon you like buzzards on fresh roadkill because *clearly* you are in need of their assistance.
You may find that some days you sigh a whole lot more than you used to. It's OK.
Sometimes it's just better to throw away the whole sippy cup. Or the underpants... 'nuff said.
Yes, you will make a separate dinner for the kids...more often than you ever would've dreamed (Thanks for the idea, Brian and Melissa! Glad to know I'm not the only one. Oh, and sorry about ratting you out on the internet.)
There will be a day when you tell your children, "You may play a video game (it's called a Wii...you'll find out more about that later) ALL DAY." And you will actually follow through with this promise.
One day you will allow your child to grab a box of cereal out of the cart, open it, and start snacking WHILE YOU ARE STILL SHOPPING IN THE STORE AND BEFORE YOU HAVE PAID FOR THE CEREAL. Yes, you will be one of THOSE parents. Because THOSE parents realize that once in a while the quiet is just worth it.
It gets worse.
One day -- before you even WALK INTO THE STORE -- you will be bribing your children with popcorn from the Target snack bar so they will not act like hyenas on crystal meth while you go in search of antacid pills, bread, and an ipod armband.
It will totally work.
It will even allow you to peruse the clearance racks and score a couple more dresses at rock-bottom prices for little sister.
Because she will need a lot of them. Just ask the gym daycare workers.
you always make me laugh.... You know how many times we have left the house to go to church without shoes only to have to come back home to get them? More than once, I assure you....and not just to church ;)
ReplyDeleteSOOO funny! At least your children are splitting the popcorn three ways. Until Rayna gets big enough for popcorn, Molly has the whole bag to herself. That's okay.....popcorn counts as a vegetable, right? :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure Brian and Melissa Smith won't mind you ratting them out on the internet. They are nice enough. :-)